A good mom moment

Sometimes I have good mom moments.  Many times I have survival mom moments.  Sometimes I have bad mom moments.  Sometimes I have guilty mom moments.  Many times I have exhausted mom moments.

Those good mom moments are part of what makes all the hard work worth it. Yesterday I had one such moment that surprised me so much, I teared up.  But, first, you need some background.

I grew up with a mother who loved music (she still does).  She doesn’t play an instrument.  She never sang in the church choir or anything, but she just innately loves music.  I can remember so many times her walking around the house singing.  More often than not she was singing old hymns.  They were what we sang at church, especially the church we went to until I was 9.  It was constant in my life.

I inherited my mom’s love of music.  I took it to the next level a bit and learned to play three instruments.  Music has gotten me through so very many difficult moments in life.  When I was in high school, it was a huge part of my life.  My parents would often say they knew what kind of day I’d had at school based on what I played when I came home.  My most relaxing and uplifting music moments were playing the piano.  Of the instruments I play, I’m not as adept at piano.  I never competed with piano.  I played purely for enjoyment.  I could pull out our hymnal and play and sing all those hymns that I knew so well from church and from my mom singing.  I might have only played the soprano and alto parts on most of them, but I didn’t care.  It wasn’t about skill.  It was about praising God.  It was about letting the music move in and through me.  It was about God speaking to me through music.

I still connect to God through song.  I don’t get to play music very much any more.  I miss it so very much, but I know there will be other seasons of life when I won’t have little ones needing me constantly.  So, I listen to Christian music.  I have been proud that one of my 4-year-old’s favorite songs is “Yours Will Be (Land of Glory),” by Big Daddy Weave.  She loves to sing along.

And while I love contemporary Christian music and southern gospel music, old hymns are often what minister most to my soul.  I relate to them.  They bring so many memories flooding back.  I remember singing “For Those Tears I Died” many times during my latter part of high school when I was really struggling with some friend drama.  I remember exclaiming “Victory in Jesus!” to my aunt and uncle once in the car over something I was excited about when I was a small child.  I remember the way my grandpa’s face would light up when we sang “Old Rugged Cross.”  These are the songs I connect to personally and spiritually. They haven’t lost their meaning because I’ve sung them over and over.

When my son was born almost a year ago, I started singing old hymns to him in the hospital.  We started with “Amazing Grace.”  It soothed him.  I have sung many songs to him and to my daughter, but for my son, old hymns soothe and comfort him the most.  Maybe it’s the gentle spirit that moves in me while I sing these songs.  They calm us both down perhaps.  I have sung these songs to my daughter as well.  Sometimes when I’m drying her hair (which takes a while thanks to her thick, curly locks), she asks me to sing “Amazing Grace.”  She knows the first verse completely and sings it so adorably.  I want to pass along love of God to my children.  I want them to learn songs I have known my whole life that can minister to them always.

So that brings us to yesterday.  My husband has been using Spotify for a while now.  It’s a service that allows you to listen to pretty much any song ever.  He just hooked it up to play through our television for the first time.  We were having an afternoon dance party and my daughter was excited that he was able to play her playlist at home instead of just in the car.  She jammed to all sorts of things from the Doc McStuffins theme song to “Let it Go” from Disney’s “Frozen” to “I’m Gettin’ Nothing for Christmas.”  When her playlist ended, our dance party was over and I had put her brother down for his nap.  She came and asked for more songs.  I offered her instead to watch one of her shows from Disney Junior since she hadn’t watched anything all day.  (I was washing bottle parts and looking at a laundry basket full of clothes to be folded and thinking of all I could get done in 30 minutes while one kid was napping and the other was occupied with a show.)  She declined and said she really wanted music.

My husband, who was working in our home office, heard the conversation and came through to help her out.  I kept doing the dishes.  I assumed she’d want to listen to her music again.  He came back through the kitchen and informed me that Lexiana had asked for classic hymns.  Well, she’d asked for “Amazing Grace” and songs like that.  My heart about beat through my chest.  I want my children to love music.  I want them to love old hymns.  Above all, I want them to love God.  Somehow I had conveyed enough love for hymns to my daughter that she asked for them.  She picked them over watching a favorite show and she never picks anything over watching a favorite show.  She picked them over listening to her favorite kids’ music.

It was a good mom moment.  It made me feel like in the midst of all I do for my children that I was somehow doing something right.  They are somehow hearing the message.  God is working through me.  I pray that often.  I pray that I’ll be the mom they need me to be to raise them according to His will and plan.  I know that Bible verses and hymns have seen me through so many difficult times.  To see my 4-year-old daughter already loving hymns made me so happy.  I felt so blessed.

I have so many times of falling so short.  I worry about what my kids are seeing.  I worry about the example I am being.  I want to lift them up.  I want to encourage them.  I want them to know how much I love them.  I want them to know how much God loves them.  I want them to know who He is.  I want them to have a solid foundation.  I sometimes feel like I’m shooting in the dark with these things.  I am not sure how to teach all of it.  I’m trusting God to help me through.  I just know that for one moment yesterday, I had a moment of feeling like I’m getting something right.  Amazing grace indeed!

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