Throwback Thursday to a year ago

If you have read my blog before with any regularity, you will know that I oftentimes can wax nostalgic.  So if I tell you that my son is turning 1 a week from today, you can guess my line of thinking.  And you can guess some posts that will be coming.

Today’s post is taking a look back to a year ago.  One year ago from right now, I looked pretty much exactly like this:

I look pretty happy in this photo.  Overall, I was happy to be having my baby boy, but I can tell you that at this point one year ago, I was more than ready for him to be born.  I knew that God had a plan and my baby boy was cooking as long as he needed to cook.  I didn’t want to rush him out.  I wanted him to take all the time he needed.  But, I also was incredibly miserable.  I’d been on modified bedrest for three months.  I’d been in pain for three months and it only got worse by the day.

However, I also marveled at the last few days of being pregnant.  I knew then as I do now that it would be my last pregnancy.  It was bittersweet.  I tried in the midst of misery to enjoy feeling all the little (and sometimes big!) kicks and prods.  I tried to remind myself of how very blessed and honored I was to have this little guy squirming around.

I’ve shared a bit about his birth before.  I’ve shared how he spent his first 20 minutes not breathing on his own, but everything worked out in the end.  What I share now is that he not only breathes just fine, he also has quite a set of lungs on him.  My husband and I have long joked about how talkative our daughter is.  She’s been chatty from the time she developed her own baby language.   She’s an incessant talker who as a baby talked herself asleep and awake.  Our son, on the other hand, is the loud one.  When he’s awake, many times you know he’s awake as he makes his voice heard.  The best part is that along with his loudness is a great, vibrant laugh that comes, especially for my husband.  It is the best sound in the world.  We have one talkative child and one loud child.  I waited with baited breath to hear that first strong cry when he was born.  I now hear it regularly and while I have times of frustration, I am still thankful for it.  I am thankful for the baby boy who can make himself heard even when he’s not happy.

A year ago, I wondered about what my son would look like.  Our daughter surprised us with having red hair and blue eyes.  Our son has been more what I expected my kids would look like with his dark hair and brown eyes.  Our kids look pretty different from one another, yet they are both beautiful and perfect in their own ways.  I wouldn’t change a thing.

A year ago, I wondered how my daughter would adjust to being a big sister.  I wondered if she’d have trouble with jealousy issues.  I wondered if she’d feel left out. What she’s done is become such a terrific big sister and I couldn’t be more proud.  Even strangers comment to us about sweet she is to her brother.  She seriously has more patience with her little brother than my husband and I do.  She loves him completely.  She kisses him and hugs him regularly.  She is a wonderful big sister and has adjusted even better than I ever could have hoped.  And my son is so in love and enthralled with my daughter.  He wants to be wherever she is at all times.  He laughs and giggles at her.  He tries to play with her and she includes him as much as she can.  I am so thankful for and blessed by their relationship.  I pray often that they always continue to have such a loving relationship.  I know how tricky sibling relationships can be.

A year ago, I really truly didn’t know what to expect.  I still don’t know what to expect from my son.  I can’t tell you what he’ll be doing this time next year.  I have some guesses but not guarantees.  Just like last year, I had speculations for this year.  Some were right and some weren’t.  I can tell you that this year, my baby boy is very physical.  He climbs, he crawls, he cruises and he is so very close to walking.  He is persistent.  His persistence is a wonderful quality that will come in handy later on in life when he is pursuing interests.  It is currently a challenge when he is persistently trying to play in the dog’s water, take things out of the trashcan or play with the electronics in our entertainment center.  My baby boy also has the greatest smile and laugh.  He smiles even more easily and readily than my daughter did at this age and she smiled a lot.  He is tenacious.  He is a bit chatty, though not as much as his sister.  He is practicing sounds frequently.  He’s great at saying da-da, but has yet to give me a ma-ma.

When I look back next year, I’ll remember these things, but I’ll also marvel at the boy he’s become.  I marvel now at the boy he’s become from a year ago.  This time last year, he was still kicking around in my belly.  This time last year, he was completely helpless and so tiny.  Now he’s gaining more independence and is sturdy.

I’m guessing I may have a bit more for you next week as his actual birthday arrives.  I remember the overwhelming sadness when my daughter turned 1.  I was so sad to be saying more and more good-bye to her baby days.  I still feel that bittersweet sadness with my son, but not nearly as much as I did with my daughter.  Now I know what’s in store.  I know how much I have to look forward to learning more about my baby boy.  I know that I will miss the baby days.  I will miss the baby snuggles.  But, I will love learning about the little dude who won my heart even before he was here.

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