Mom fantasies

Only a dumb person would argue that being a mom is easy.  (I know it’s a strong statement, but that’s 100 percent how I’ve always felt and even more so now that I am a mom and really understand how hard it is.)  And though we moms typically love our jobs as moms and we always love our children more than the very breath that we breathe, we also have some wishes and dreams beyond motherhood.

Doesn't ths look like a great spot for the three-week vacation? It's in the Maldives and goes for $1,500 a night. Definitely not in my budget for a three-week vacation, but a girl can dream, can't she?

A friend of mine has shared that her dream vacation would take three weeks.  She’d go to a peaceful beach resort for a week by herself and sleep, rest and rejuvenate.  The second week, her husband would join her.  The third week, her kids would come for some fun.  I think that sounds like a grand idea.  I love the thought of this fantasy vacation.  And I understand how fantasy it is, because most of us can’t afford a three-week vacation and would struggle to be away from our families for that long.

But, it summarizes everything my typical fantasy includes: time for myself, time for my husband and myself and time for my kiddo.  I have a few fantasies.  Some are attainable; some are not.  They are fun to think about and dream about when life gets a bit crazy (like this past weekend when I cleaned poop off the dog, throw-up off the kiddo, her blanket, her pillow and my living room carpet and later pee off myself, her and the couch).  I’d love to get lists from other moms.  I’m starting with mine, but share yours here or send them to me and I’ll make another blog post if I get enough!

– I dream of the three-week vacation described above.

– I dream of eating a meal in a restaurant while it’s still warm and from start to finish with no interruptions.  Heck, I dream of a meal at home the same way.  (And I fully admit it’s way better than it was a year ago when my child was younger, but it’s definitely different than it was three years ago before I had my baby girl in my arms!)

– I dream of driving a sports car that magically has enough room for my family and all the gear we now travel with on vacation.

– I dream of sleeping in as late as I want without worrying that if I don’t get up then I’ll miss my chance to get work done or have me-time before the kiddo is up.  Or that she’s already awake and I’ve got to get her anyway.

– I dream of laundry that will do itself.  And dishes that will clean themselves.  And toilets that clean themselves.  And carpet that will vacuum itself.  Well, you get the point.  Maybe I ought to just dream of a housekeeper.

– Barring all that, I dream of having uninterrupted time to clean my house.

– I dream of reading a book from start to finish in a weekend.  I miss those weekends.

– I dream of going to the bathroom without having to step around a stepstool, hike up a potty seat and look at the whale attached to the sink while I wash my hands.

– I dream of having a play room for the kiddo versus having toys strewn throughout the house.  (And, yes, she’s learning to pick them up and we organize them, but they are still everywhere.)

– I dream of having moments to myself to just sit and be quiet.

– Just because it’s my fantasy world, I dream of eating chocolate that is super yummy, has zero fat, sugar or calories and has the nutritional value of a super healthy salad.  (Can you imagine the bliss?!)  I also dream of cherry Coke that will neither hurt my bladder nor my diet.

And that’s where my dreams are stopping right now.  These are some of my mom fantasies.  These are some things that I both miss and long for.  However, as I’m typing I’m realizing that one day I many of these things again.  The kiddo will be grown and out of the house and I’m sure that I’ll miss getting interrupted at dinner to help her cut her food or sliding around a stepstool to use the toilet.  Time is already flying by.  When she was a newborn, I couldn’t wait for her to sleep through the night.  Now I miss those quiet hours when I could feed her and just stare into her eyes and wonder what she’d be like.  My mom fantasies change as my life as a mom changes.  I still long for some quiet time and some reconnection to myself as a person and not just as a mom.  I still long for rest and breaks.

But, I think I’m also realizing more and more as the time whizzes past how there may be miserable times here and there.  I may sometimes dream of getting away.  But, at the same time, I somehow want to hold on to each moment, in spite of the times I fantasize about life being a bit easier.

This isn’t how I planned to end this blog.  In fact, I had planned to remain lighthearted with today’s post.  Interesting indeed the turn it took toward the serious and sappy.  It’s so my life: funny, serious, sappy and emotional all at the same time.  I do very much still want to hear from other moms, though.  What do you fantasize about?  Both realistically and unrealistically?

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