Why I bought my 2-year-old play makeup

My child had a nice selection of gifts under the Christmas tree this year and one of them was a set of play makeup.  Feminists may gasp at that information.  But, I have reasons for giving her the makeup.  I don’t think I’m a bad mother for doing so, and it’s become one of her favorite new toys.

The makeup set I got for my daughter by Dream Dazzler

My daughter loves to imitate everything she sees me do.  That keeps me on my toes.  If I think about “sneaking” a piece of candy or something sweet, I know my daughter will want it, too.  She also likes to brush her teeth when I do, drink when I do, scrunch her hair when I do and, yes, put on makeup when I do.  And I put on makeup every day.  I come from a line of southern influenced women who don’t do anything or let anyone see them without full hair and makeup.  So even on the days I know we aren’t leaving the house, I put on makeup.  I have to be pretty sick to not put it on.

I’m not talking massive amounts of makeup.  In fact, I can get it all on within two minutes at the most — and that’s with distractions from a 2-year-old.  But, I do moisturizer, foundation, blush, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara and lipstick.  OK, typing that out sounds like a lot, but I don’t cake it on or anything crazy.  (And, if you know me in real life and think otherwise, please speak up ever-so-kindly!)  While I might go out of the house without doing my hair by donning a hat or pulling it up in a ponytail, you’d be hard-pressed to find me in public sans makeup.  It’d have to be an emergency.  I once ran to the dollar store when my daughter was a baby to buy diapers.  I was gone 15 minutes, and I pretty much prayed I didn’t see anyone I know.

Why?  Why do I have this attachment to makeup?  Save the fact that I grew up with women who always wore makeup, I just like doing so.  My second grade school photo shows me with bright blue eyeshadow haphazardly placed on my eyelids.  A friend had brought in her sister’s makeup.  Another time I got into makeup samples at the drug store when my parents’ backs were turned.  I’ve always had a fascination with makeup.

I don’t think it makes me look dramatically prettier.  I don’t think that I have to wear it to be accepted.  I don’t think that I have to wear it to get attention from my husband.  I don’t think that people are judging me based on the colors on my face.  But, I do know that I feel better.  I can be having a crummy day.  I can be grouchy or even not feeling well.  Then I put on makeup.  It’s not a magical cure, but it does somehow make me feel better, more human and more like I can face the day with strength.  It just does.

And, so I decided to get pretend makeup for my child.  She was using random other objects, like my husband’s small flashlight, to pretend to put on makeup when I did.  She asked me about what I was doing.  She talked to me about what color my eyeshadow was.  She has been fascinated.

I also know that though her fascination is innocent as she’s mimicking her mama, I am still teaching her about beauty.  I never want her to think that makeup or hair bows or any such thing makes her beautiful.  She is beautiful to start with as she is.  I tell her that.  I strive to make sure she’s hearing those lessons.  I also strive to make sure that she hears me saying the right things.  I don’t think that my beauty is based on makeup or doing my hair.  I just know that both make me feel better.  She will never hear me say that I’m ugly until I put on my makeup.  Just like she won’t hear me complain about my weight or how I feel about my body.  I am very aware of the self-esteem issues that little girls face.  I remember feeling fat when I was in first grade.  I wasn’t fat.  I was normal.  I didn’t have anyone telling me I was fat.  My parents never said those words.  It was just something I picked up.

I can’t guarantee that my daughter won’t pick up these things, too, but I can do my best to make sure that she doesn’t learn them from me.  I don’t want her to be obsessed with makeup, her weight or her fashion.  I just want her to be comfortable in her own skin.  If I forbade her from pretending to put on makeup then I’d make it taboo and it would become something she’d want to do even more.  If she is interested in makeup because she has experience with it through me, then I want her to learn about it the right way.  I want her to learn that it’s something women wear.  I want her to learn that it makes women feel good sometimes, but it’s not necessary to be beautiful.  I want her to learn that she is always beautiful by being the young lady that she is.

And this is why I bought her play makeup.  My reasons are way deeper than her 2-year-old mind comprehends.  But, at the same time, I know how much she listens and pays attention even when I think she might be distracted.  I know how much she is absorbing.  I feel like I can encourage her imagination and help her embrace her beauty at the same time.

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