Going through the Big D

…and don’t mean Dallas (or divorce).  (If you’re not a country music fan, sorry that you don’t get that reference!)  I mean diet.  And exercise.

Here’s the thing: I have debated with myself all morning as to whether I should post about this.  You see, when it comes to this kind of stuff, I’m a private person.  If you see me in real life, pretend you never read this.  We shall never speak of it.  That sort of thing.

However, I also am wondering if a bit of my private desire for this kind of stuff stems from subconsciously thinking that if I fail or don’t stick with it, then no one will be the wiser.  They’ll just think I’m fat and happy the whole time.

So, in an effort to be successful, I am being honest with you all, dear readers.  Maybe if I know that you’re depending on me to follow through on my word, I will do so.  I have excellent commitment, dedication and self motivation in every other area in my life, except this one.

I will not tell you my weight.  Even my husband doesn’t know that number.  I have a thing about that, too.  But, suffice it to say that at a recent doctor’s appointment I realized that somehow my weight has crept to a number I last saw when I was carrying a child in my body.   And she was a relatively good-sized child at that point.  Of course, I say “crept” as if I had nothing to do with it.  I know full well that I did.  I try to be conscious of what I eat, but I also love sweets, chocolate, bread — you see the problem.  And I can’t really count grocery shopping trips and moving around my house after my toddler as exercise.  So, here I am.

Today I’m starting on Operation Get into Shape.  I’m calling it D Day.  I have no dreams of being super model thin or Iron Man ready.  I just want to feel better physically.  I want to be healthier.  I want to not totally despise what I see when I look in the mirror or even just look down.  I want my clothes to fit better.

I’m also trying to be realistic.  Fad diets are not a good plan, I know.  I’m starting with eating healthier.   I’ve already been plotting my menu for the day rather than just waiting until I’m starving and grab the first thing available.  The morning has included a bowl of cereal with protein for energy and half the amount of 1 percent milk that I usually drink.

And I also readily admit that I’ve struggled in the past with frustration at what I can’t eat, thanks to my bladder.  Every diet book/Web site/guru says fruit makes a great snack and replaces that desire for sweets.  Sounds good, but I have very few fruits I can have thanks to my bladder.  So, it would just make me angry and discouraged.  I think I’m over that now.

I also started exercising this morning.  Since our home reorganization project last month, I can now get to and use our treadmill.  This morning I went a half mile in about 11 minutes.  It’s not impressive, but it’s a start.  Then I did some stomach crunches.  I made it to 100, but when I got to 75 I began seriously considering who would wake up my husband for work if I didn’t make it.

There you go.  This is what is on my mind this morning.  This is what I’m working on in my personal life.  The secret is out.  If you want to join me, let me know.  I’m always up for encouragement and accountability as I go through the Big D.

I’ll keep you updating periodically (see, that means I have to continue this; I even made a new category for it).  I’m pretty sure it’s not going to kill me.  Well, relatively sure.  At least 50 percent sure…

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