Traits

I think all parents can tick off a list to you of traits they want their children to inherit from them and traits they don’t want to pass on.  I’m no different.  I’m thrilled that Lexiana already shares my love for books and words.  I’m thrilled that she has her father’s quick learning skills and determination.  I’m tickled that she shares his southern gospel music roots and belts out songs louder than she ever speaks.

I’m not as crazy that she’s overly sensitive like me.  I know how hard that can to live with.  I don’t always enjoy her stubborn streak that comes from both her father and me.  And the independent nature she gets from her father can present some challenges.

But, all these things combine to make her who she is.  To me, she is perfect.

However, there is one thing that I worry most about passing on to her: my bladder disease.  While interstitial cystitis is not always genetic, I do know that I have a heritage of women in my family with problems.  And I also know that IC strikes women 10 times more than men.

From supportourribbons.com

When I interviewed her pediatrician before Lexiana was born, I sort of tested him to see if he knew about IC and what he’d do to check her out.  My symptoms started by the time I was 3.  Fortunately, he passed the test.  And we came up with a game plan to periodically check her urine.  While IC has no definitive test at this point, the urine can show various things that are often indicative of a problem.  We did our first check at six months.  Everything came back clear.

She had her 18-month checkup on Friday.  We decided it was time to do another check.  Since her appointment was late in the day, the doctor sent me home with supplies to gather the sample and take it in today.  I will do so.  And I will try very hard not to think about what-ifs.  My kiddo isn’t having any problems right now.  And she talks up a storm.  She’d tell me in her terms if something was bothering her. Yet, I can’t help but worry.  I do not want to pass this on.

However, I also know it’s not up to me.  Genetics play a role for sure, but so does God.  I think of the good things that have come in my life and the lessons I’ve learned from living with IC.  I know God can use all things for His purpose, even when they hurt.  I pray that IC stops with me and doesn’t pass on to any other generation, directly or indirectly.  I started doing this when my sister-in-law was pregnant with my now 3-1/2-year-old niece.  I have continued.  I also pray, however, that if this isn’t God’s will and it does pass on that He helps me to deal with it.  And I know that He will.

For now, I’m just working to not get ahead of myself or get myself worked up about nothing.  As with everything, I go one day at a time.  Today is just another day.

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