A skewed perception

Lexiana and I hit story time at the library this morning.  It was our second visit.  I wrote about the first story time a couple of weeks ago.  Today’s visit was different to me.  And I emphasize the “to me” in that last sentence.  I think the visits were the same, I just viewed them differently.

The first visit, I was nervous.  I wasn’t sure what to expect.  I didn’t know anyone there.  I was out of my element to say the least.  Lexiana was also out of sorts.  She’d just had her one-year shots the Friday before and had a crazy Sunday the day before.  While she wanted to explore, she also got mad at me when I’d try to keep her in my lap.  I didn’t want to draw attention to ourselves and I saw every other child sitting quietly and nicely in their parent’s laps.

Today my child actually did sit contently in my lap for most of the time.  But, I was more laidback and relaxed.  It wasn’t a new environment.  And I noticed that the other children didn’t sit in their parent’s laps.  They were all over the place.  Some didn’t move, but half of them got up at certain points, didn’t pay attention to the story, fussed and lost focus.  They weren’t perfect children.  They were just children — sometimes they were content to sit, sometimes they needed to explore, sometimes they needed to vocalize frustration.  They were just like my kiddo.

I had a skewed perception on our first visit.  I was so worried and self-involved that I didn’t notice what was really happening.  I even remember coming home and telling my husband I didn’t know how kids this age were expected to sit still for that long.  Today, I realize they aren’t.  The library knows that.  The other parents know that.  I know that.  And it’s OK.  I just have to get outside myself and away from my skewed perception.

Next week, I will feel even more confident striding into the room.  I’m sure I won’t be the chattiest mom there.  That’s just not my personality, but I will realize that these are parents like me.  They are dealing with their children who have changing and emerging personalities.  They are dealing with meltdowns and moments of contentment.  If my daughter decides to again crawl across the room halfway through the session, so be it.  I’m sure she won’t be the only one.

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