Archive for February, 2010

“Balance” is one of those words that modern mothers bandy about.  We talk about balancing work and family.  But, I daresay that few of us really feel we are 100 percent balanced between the two on any given day.

I’ve realized over these last couple of months of working with a little one that one day I feel balanced and the next day I feel out of whack.  It’s a daily struggle.  Working from home leaves me in that gray area in between stay-at-home moms and working-outside-the-home moms.  Mostly that’s a good thing.  On the good days, I realize that I can still do the two jobs I love — the writing one that I’ve been doing for years and the mom one that I just started.  On the bad days, I feel torn between the two.  I struggle to spend enough time not only taking care of my daughter but also enjoying her while still meeting the deadlines.

Everyday I learn more and more about balance.  Right now, for example, I am typing this while a sleepy girl hangs out in my lap.  Yesterday I wrote an article on my laptop while sitting on the floor beside her as she did tummy time.  This morning I did two phone interviews while she took her morning nap.  A few days ago, I let a work call go to voicemail as I fed her.  It’s all about balance.

Will the balance that I find work for every mom who’s trying to live her life while still being a mother?  No.  Will it work for me always?  Of course not.  Right now, I honestly think it’s easier because my daughter is not yet mobile.  She will change.  I will change.  And we’ll make it work together.

We take it one day at a time!

Being a freelancer means I can be mobile.  I have worked a variety of places from hospital waiting rooms to the parking lot of a library in a small Tennessee town.  At home, I would almost always work in my home office.  However, having a baby to look after these days has changed that.  Now I still work in my home office some, but I also do quite a bit of work from my loveseat so I can watch my baby in her bouncy seat napping or on her play mat batting at toys.  At first I struggled to maintain productivity in a more constant nontraditional environment and have learned a few things.

I need a to do list. In my office I have a white board upon which I write tasks and appointments for the day.  I keep track of most of the same information in Outlook.  In my living room, I don’t have that.  I found the easiest way to streamline and keep on track was going old school with a smallish notebook.  I have a page per day.  I write down appointments/meetings and list everything that needs to be done each day for work and home.  This little notebook keeps me on track and organized.  It fits in my purse for when I’m out and about.

I need a way to organize paperwork. In my home office I can often get inundated with paperwork.  It piles up before I realize it.  Working between my office and living room makes it even worse.  I realized I had a paper trail everywhere.  I’m slowly converting to my new solution.  I still use file folders.  Instead of putting them in my office where I have to try and remember to get them and put them back up, I have a tote bag with folders for my current projects.  The bag can go with me back to the office or to the living room or anywhere that I’m working.  I also keep envelopes for check stubs, paid bills and bills to be paid in the same bag.  Ideally I should process all this information as it comes in, but lately that’s been a challenge.  This way I at least have it all together when I do have time to sit down and log it all.

I need to have things within reach. For various tasks that I do throughout the day, I can be tied to one place.  Having everything together helps keep me on track.  I keep the notebook and work bag nearby, of course, but I also make sure other items I need are handy like the telephone with its headset and a bottle of water.

Working in a non-traditional environment has its challenges, but it is most definitely possible with a bit of planning and organization.  I’m sure that I will learn a few more things along the way as well!

Since Valentine’s Day is approaching this weekend, I figured this is a good time to talk about the role a spouse plays in running a successful business.  Do you need a spouse to be successful?  No.  But, everyone needs support.  And those of us who are married really need support from our spouses.  I am blessed to be married to an incredibly supportive man.

When my husband and I met, I was 14 and he was 16.  Our dreams began to grow together.  By the time I was out of high school, he knew my dream was to pursue writing full-time.  We married when I was 20 and only halfway through college.  His support began while I finished first my undergraduate and then graduate degrees in journalism.  He understood when I needed to study rather than go see a movie.  He took care of us working full-time and providing health insurance.  He encouraged me to stick with it when I got tired.  I could have finished college without his emotional support, but it would have been so very difficult.

After graduate school when I felt led to start my own writing business, he was the first in line to support me.  I remember telling him what I wanted to do.  He basically asked why I had taken so long to do this.  He knew my passions.  He even supported my decision to freelance full-time, knowing that I would have sporadic (and menial!) income in the beginning.

In the early years, he encouraged me to keep sending my work out.  He listened to me bemoan the fact that I may never get another paying gig again.  (Writers struggle with self-confidence!)  He was my sounding board for ideas.  He listened when I was bursting with new information I had learned for an article, even when he wasn’t all that interested in the subject matter.  He challenged me to set goals and work to achieve them.

As my career got more established, he would often sit and talk with me to assess where my career was going.  I had a few times where I undertook work that didn’t pan out.  He would gently encourage me to let a client go when it just wasn’t working.

These days, he still does all of those things.  He challenges me to be greater.  He supports me in my work.  He listens when I tell him my latest research that I’m excited about.  He gives me advice, yet isn’t pushy.  He is my biggest cheerleader and greatest fan.

I would say without a doubt that I couldn’t be doing what I’m doing now, living my dream, without the wonderful man to whom I’m married.

Showing a point rather than just telling it is one of the characteristics of good writing — whether it be fiction or nonfiction.  This has come up recently with a client.  It has definitely come up in the past with students.

In journalism having facts to back up statements is what is important.  Those background facts are often what will show a point rather than just telling the writer that something is so.  Here’s an example:

Telling: More women have been diagnosed with interstitial cystitis than men.
Showing: Of the approximately 1 million Americans who have interstitial cystitis, 90 percent of them are female.

While both statements convey the same point, the second one is more effective.  It shows why the point is so.  It’s more specific.  It gives the reader more information.  It’s just better writing.

The same is true in fiction writing as well.  The best books I’ve read are by authors who are good at showing versus telling.  Off the top of my head, the best authors I think of who do this are R.A. Salvatore, J.K. Rowling, Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins.  They give us characters and story lines that we are drawn into because they show us what is happening.   Here’s an example:

Telling: Alana was nervous as she waited for her interview.
Showing: Alana had bitten her fingernails nearly to the nub as she sat, tapping her foot, waiting for her interview to begin.

Again, the same point is conveyed by the “showing” sentence paints a clearer picture for the reader.  We not only pick up on the fact that Alana is nervous, but we can better see her being nervous.

Think about the difference between showing and telling next time you pick up a book.  If you become enthralled with it and transported into that fictional world, I can almost guarantee you are reading an author who shows more than he or she tells.