I was recently asked through a writer’s group I belong to what I would say to myself back when I was first starting to write as a freelancer.  It made me stop and think.  In 2003 I was fresh out of graduate school and decided to quit my work as an assistant historian to freelance full-time.  It was scary and exhilarating all at once.  I’ve learned a few lessons along the way.  Here’s a bit of what I would say to the past Stacey.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. I think perhaps we are all our worst enemies.  I tend to be a perfectionist.  And I tend to over-criticize myself.  Especially back when I first started, I thought everything I wrote was horrible and I’d never get a paying job again.  Seriously.  I try to share this with my students when I teach writing.  Writers struggle with confidence so very much.  But, at the end of the day, you get points just for showing up and working and trying your hardest.  No need to continually berate yourself along the way.

Don’t take things so personally. Yeah, I still struggle with this.  I have long since gotten over taking edits to my writing personally.  By the end of two degrees in journalism, I learned that lesson a long time ago.  I’m talking about the times when people just aren’t happy.  I’ve run into a few clients along the way who think I’m a mind reader and aren’t at all happy when I write what they told me.  I want to make them happy, so it’s hard not to feel bad when they’re not.  It’s even harder when they aren’t nice about it, which has happened a time or two.  I try to remind myself of all the good feedback I get, which far outnumbers the bad.  Funny, though, how it never seems to outweigh the negative feedback.

Enjoy slow times. When I first started with freelance, I thought every time my work load was light that meant I was failing (goes back to the first point a bit).  I thought it meant I’d never get any more work.  Just like so many other businesses, freelance writing has an ebb and flow to it.  Some times are busier than others.  Last week, for example, I was so crazy busy I had no time to blog and worked late a few nights.  I remember those times when I am able to work half days or even take a workday off when it’s slower.

Be grateful you get to work at your passion. Above all, this is the most important piece of advice I’d give to the past Stacey.  Freelance writing is my dream.  Some days I forget that.  Early on, I beat myself up over not having a grand income.  I missed the point that I was blessed to be able to do what I feel passionately about.  I love researching, writing and editing.  If I remain focused on that blessing every day, then I am a much happier Stacey.  That’s a reminder I definitely need — for past Stacey, present Stacey and future Stacey.

What would you go back and tell yourself?